Peace after Loss..For my Mother, and all who have lost someone they care for.

Most people who know me know that I usually a silly crazy person who is on the very rare occasion serious and sappy (unless its a football game the Jets were not supposed to win,,, and ya DanWOW sheds a tear or  two! GO JETS!!!) All people have a side of them they hide well through laughter and jokes, people put a good face on from time to time to hide their pain and true feelings.. I told myself that this blog was always going to be off the wall, crude, rude, and socially unacceptable.. But I am going to break my own rules today, Breaking my life rules have been in my favor lately, for one dating a boy in a band was huge "NO" in the rule book of DanWOW, and I am so glad I have broke that one, he has become the beans on my weird salad....Sometimes rules are made to be broken!!!

Doing my normal daily routine today,, and that's coffee and country music ( C and C ) while I make my bed and clean up my house a song came on and put me right to the floor in tears,, tears of sadness, happiness, and memories.... Its amazing how music can effect us so much in so many different ways. And that's when I decided to write a serious blog today and share a story and a couple things that I have wrote that may give my mom, and those of you who have lost something and or someone close to you some peace and comfort.

I don't think I have felt loss as much in my life until these past six months,, and coming out of it I see life in a new way.. A wonderful gift it is that we are given to live, love, and laugh.. Never take one day, one second for granted because in a blink of an eye its over..

I lost my very best friend in November,, the one thing that was always loyal, loving, and always no matter what made me smile.. My Sir.Samson Jenkins was the most amazing dog ever, full of life and love. We were the perfect match and because of him I now know the feeling of true unconditional love and I am so thankful for that. Most people never know that feeling, and when he left me it broke my heart, but by the grace of god I was able to pull through and find a peace within myself.... So if you are someone who lost a dog who who considered a best friend please find peace in the words I wrote for my best friend who now has wings:

For Sam:
Go now and feel no pain
You have your wings, like the angel you always were to me
You have taken my heart with you
Follow the soft green trail
Feel the warm dew on your paws
Smell the fresh flowers along the trail to your new home
You are welcomed by angels
Feel their warm touch love and embrace it
The same warmth you gave me for so long
Go now and play
Swim now without getting tired
Run now with no loss of breath
Climb so high now with no fear of falling
Rest forever now knowing you showed me the most unconditional love, and I will be ok
Feel my thoughts float up to you in heaven with the warmth of the sun on your soft white fur
Know when you feel a drop of rain from the sky its my tear, and its falling in joy you feel no pain
A tear for every exceptional memories we have shared
Its the splash of water from your paw as we swam together so many times
And when I feel a breeze on a hot day I will know its your wings cooling me down
So go now and rest my very best friend
When I think of you I will always smile knowing the feeling of true love
And I can rest because of that
So go now and rest forever..............

Recently about a month ago I watched my mother go through the loss of a brother,, a brother that she was very close to,, a Uncle that I was very close to.. I was lucky enough to have been able to work with him for a while laying carpet,, He was the most amazing man ever.. He would always make people laugh. When I worked with him I was the only girl on his crew and he would talk shit to guys and tell them I was better and stronger than they were.. So he named me "BIG D" he made me realize I can literally do anything a guy can do just as long as I try hard enough. I thank him so much for that freedom of thinking..Its crazy how god always seems to take the great ones,,and its unfair but we here on earth have to overcome the pain and sadness and just know we see them soon.. there are no goodbyes just so long for now....I was asked to do a reading out of the bible at his funeral and I was very honored to be able to do that for such a wonderful man who was like a father to me.. He would of been the man who gave me away at my wedding!!!! So him leaving us was unthinkable for my mother and myself... I wanted to say my own words at the funeral not just a scripted reading so I did..... I wrote something for his family, my mother, and everyone.... So if you have lost a family member maybe this will give you some peace after loss..

Carpet of flowers in the Sky:
God looked around his garden and found an empty place
He then looked down upon earth and saw your tired face
He put his arms around you and lifted you to rest
With help of his angels they flew you up to heaven
Gods carpet of flowers in the sky must be beautiful, he always takes the best
He knew you were suffering, he knew you were in pain
He knew you would never get well on earth again
He saw the road was getting rough, and the hills were to hard to climb
He closed your weary eyes and whispered "Peace be thine"
It broke our hearts to loose you
But you didn't go alone
For a part of us went with you that day that god called you home.....

Make sure every day you tell those who you care about how much they mean to you, never sweat the small stuff, laugh as much as you can...Never hold back from your dreams....And always love with all you have in you. And you will never have any regrets. Put words of inspiration on your walls to remind you everyday the gift you possess.. The gift is life.. Love your life!!!!!!!!!!

I know this was very sappy but from time to time its ok....